December 21, 2012

The induction lasted almost 40 hours. I felt my baby kicking right through till the end. He was a fighter and did not want to die. I took no pain medication. I wanted to feel as much pain as my babies were feeling. We were together in this until the end. As the 40th hour approached, the doctors started talking about a D&E since the labor was taking so long. I refused. The least I could do was give my baby a proper birth. They said they'd give me one more hour. Feeling under pressure,  I excused myself and went to the bathroom. Like with my daughter, I started pushing. And soon saw two sweet little feet coming out of my vagina. I came back outside and the doctors completed the delivery on the bed. My son was perfect. He was still warm. I couldn't believe I had just felt him kick inside me less than five minutes ago. And now he was dead. He looked so confused. Like, "What just happened?" His hands soon came to rest near his heart and we held him for a good while. I just lost two children in one week. How could life be so cruel???